


Alphabet Omens, or, The Nice and Accurate Alphabet of Good Omens by Nara [LastName], Fan

by Nara



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alphabet, Drabble, Drabble Collection, Gen, General, M/M, Minor mentions of relationships and romance, genfic, mentions of a lot of things, series of drabbles in one big chapter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:53:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26589922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nara/pseuds/Nara
Summary: When the Tower of Babel fell, we were separated into many different communities who all spoke different language - it became difficult to communicate. Soon, we learned that we can still speak with each other, regardless of barriers. Though the ABCs as defined are of the letters in the English alphabet, the words and ideas reflected within can be translated in all languages, albeit, perhaps, beginning with different letters or characters.Contained within this alphabetical guide are entries for each letter of the English Alphabet, starting with "A" and ending with "Z," each of which is exactly 100 words. A drabble for each letter.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	Alphabet Omens, or, The Nice and Accurate Alphabet of Good Omens by Nara [LastName], Fan

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally written for a personal zine project I was doing with friends, but I decided to post it here as well.
> 
> I had a lot of fun writing it, and it was quite the challenge to get each letter an entry that was exactly 100 words. Including the intro drabble, and not counting the letter denominations as separate words, this fic should be 2700 words long. Counting the letters, 2726. We'll see if I counted right.

_When the Tower of Babel fell, we were separated into many different communities who all spoke different language - it became difficult to communicate. Soon, we learned that we can still speak with each other, regardless of barriers. Though the ABCs as defined are of the letters in the English alphabet, the words and ideas reflected within can be translated in all languages, albeit, perhaps, beginning with different letters or characters. Some of these letters have more than one Important Word, while others only have a couple, and the letters of “X” and “Z,” appear to be insignificant – thematically speaking._

**A:** **Aziraphale** , an **angel** , and the **Adams** , both of Adam-and-Eve-with-the- **Apple** fame and the young **Antichrist** are characters at the beginning and the end of the **Apocalypse** (or **Armageddon** , whichever you would like to call it.) **Agnes Nutter** , prophetic **ancestor** of **Anathema Device** , produced predictions that helped these characters, and others, stop the war at the end of the world, helped along by Aziraphale and Crowley, who had an **Arrangement**. These are some of the plot points and a sampling of the characters who are the heroes of our story. As the letter **A** begins the **alphabet** , it too begins this list.

**B:** Aziraphale is known for his love of **books** , including his selection of misprinted **bibles** , and his eccentric b **ookshop** where he does not sell anything. Some may say that Aziraphale himself is like a misprinted bible, an angel who doesn’t obey the heavenly host without question, and additionally takes pleasure in human invention and ingenuity. We believe he realized his love for the demon Crowley when the demon saved him and his books from nazis and a bomb during the London **Blitz**. On the other hand, **Beelzebub** , a typical demon, and **Brian** , a typical child, have hardly any interaction at all.

**C:** **Crowley** , demon, Serpent of Eden, original tempter, lover of humanity and One Specific Angel. That demon rescued that specific angel many times throughout their six millennia together, including once in a church, once in revolutionary France, and several other times not relevant for this paragraph. **Churches** , of course, otherwise being significant for angels and quite uncomfortable, if not deadly, for demons. The churchly exception being the Abbey of the **Chattering Order of St. Beryl** , the satanic cult who delivered the baby that was the antichrist as well as two other babies. Regarding the French Rescue, there were **crepes** involved later.

**D: Demons** , like **Dagon** , Lord of the Files, and the **Disposable Demon** , exist as **denizens** of hell, and act in a mostly typical **demonic** manner. **Dog** , once a hellhound, but is now a mostly typical dog. The **Dowlings** are a mostly typical human family (however typical a **diplomatic** family that was supposed to raise the antichrist can be.) **Death** , yes, that **Death** , is perhaps the most typical of all, being unavoidable for all mortal beings. Death is possible for some immortal beings through hellfire and holy water, though usually they are just worried about **discorporation**. Now, where was I? Right! **Ducks**.

**E:** In the beginning, when there was **Earth** , there was **Eve** (of Adam-and- **Eve** -and-the-apple fame) and there was the garden, **Eden**. That’s pretty much it for the **“E”s** , unless you count **Erik** , which may or may not be the first name of the aforementioned Disposable Demon. When it comes to **Eve** , the story from the Bible says that she was created from Adam’s rib. But the story says earlier that the first man and first woman were created at the same time from the dirt. What _that_ means, overall, is that the bible, as printed, can’t be the true word of god.

**F:** The **Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse** are not, specifically men, of course, as much as they are physical proof of concepts that take the form of mortal people, which are still not exclusively men. **Famine** is the one to focus on here, if only for the letter, but also the preventability, as the earth produces enough **food** to feed all (even including gluttonous angels and their demonic companions) but greed and **Famine’s** work cause the lack and desolation. But through **faith** , and more importantly, the **family** you have and the **found family** you choose, you can **fight** for your beliefs.

**G:** Here, at “G” we reach the title of our story, **_Good Omens_** , with the narrator and progenitor of all thing, also known as **God** , we find ourselves amidst angels, as mentioned, also including that prick **Gabriel** , who, as with the other angels, did not appear so much in the book (which would have been a blessing to our angel and demon of the TV mini-series). Regarding differences between the book canon and the TV series, episode three expanded upon Aziraphale and Crowley’s acquaintance in a remarkable way, including the first time we see them interact outside of Eden, in **Golgotha.**

**H:** **Hastur** , a demon, a duke of **Hell** , and someone Crowley very much does not enjoy interacting with, was almost scared off by Crowley’s **Holy Water** trick, but saw a droplet and made a gamble. It paid off, but when he later found out that “Crowley” was immune to Holy Water, he must’ve been terrified in hindsight. But through Holy Water and **Hellfire** , our **heroes(?)** came through by swapping faces, proving that a little **help** and trust from a friend can pull anyone through even the **heartbreak** of a holy water debacle and a, “you go too fast for me, Crowley.”

**I:** **Ineffable**. At the end of the day, all is **Ineffable**. The Great Plan isn’t necessarily the Ineffable Plan, and with that, the planet is saved. But what about free will? Crowley gave humanity a choice, and the angels who fell fought for their own. But is Her plan really impossible to defy? If our **Ineffable Idiots** are together in the end, does that matter if it was predestined? Did God plan for some angels to fall? For Adam and Eve to eat the tree’s fruit? **Ineffability** sours the idea of choice. And if love is ineffable, I prefer Air Conditioning.

**J:** “J” is **“Just a J, really,”** according to the man-shaped being who named himself Anthony **J** Crowley. Some say that “J” stands for **“Janthony,”** but that’s pretty silly. It might also stand for **“Jesus,”** as Crowley is cheeky enough to do that, even though Jesus doesn’t play much of a role in this story. But at the end of the day, what is a letter, except part of a word, as a way to communicate? The “J” stands for “J,” just a “J” and it makes Crowley sound more human than otherwise. And I suppose, really, that was his point.

**K:** We don’t really meet **King Arthur** , but we do meet Aziraphale and Crowley as part of his knights and enemies in the **Kingdom of West Essex**. While the king himself is not significant, the meeting between our heavenly and infernal knights shows the first real mutuality of their Arrangement. There is no hemming, no hawing, and no cajoling from occult to ethereal. They simply agree. This is a marked progression in their relationship, and, as their relationship is a focal point of canon and fanon alike, it’s a noteworthy moment. Both parties agree with each other, and that is beautiful.

**L:** We learn, in the introduction, that the earth is a **Libra** , and we know, for the most part, that this story takes place in and around **London**. Those are the basics. Crowley melts the demon **Ligur** with holy water, and that is a plot point. But the most important thing about the letter **“L”** is the word **Love.** The **love** of Aziraphale for Crowley and Crowley for Aziraphale. The **love** the two of them have for the earth and humanity. The **love** Adam has for his friends and family. The **love** of the fans. The **love** that saves the world.

**M: Mesopotamia** is the first place outside of the garden we see Aziraphale and Crowley together, which officially begins their acquaintanceship. Here, Crowley is wearing what would have been women’s clothing, implying a sense of genderfluidity that he continues throughout the series. Aziraphale also sees Crowley in a new light when Crowley says, “You can’t kill kids.” It continues Aziraphale’s questioning of right and wrong. But you know who doesn’t question? **Michael** and the **Metatron** , two angels. **Marjorie Potts** , aka **Madame Tracey** , questions quite a bit herself. Without her questioning, Aziraphale would have killed Adam, and the world would have ended.

**N:** **Neil Gaiman** is one half of the team that brought our beloved _Good Omens_ into existence. ‘The **Nice** and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes **Nutter** , Witch,’ is the book inside the book which kept the plot running. And **Newton Pulsifer** , who may seem unimportant at first, really brings down the house because he can’t work technology. Like, he really destroys it. Literally. But that incompetence allowed him to stop the computer virus that could have destroyed the world from spreading, giving Adam the time and capability of stopping the supernatural bits of it. Really, this whole thing was a team effort.

**O:** As we learned, the earth is a Libra, and that is because it was created in **October** , even before October existed. This writer was also born in October, not that that really matters. But what does matter, at least for Aziraphale and Crowley, is **oysters**. It’s Aziraphale’s first temptation, that is, of Crowley, and it’s the first real indication that he takes pleasure in the other’s company. Not to mention that oysters are a well-known aphrodisiac. When they fall in love is a question that has baffled scholars for ages, but one clear starting point is here, with the oysters.

**P:** Aziraphale is of the angelic stock known as a **Principality** , which is a type of angel that is a **protector**. **Pippin Galadriel Moonchild** , also know as **Pepper** , is a strong, smart, little girl (though she may take offense to me calling her a little girl.) **Pollution** (and **Pestilence,** who Pollution took the reins from when he retired) are some of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Two, defenders of the earth, two, bringers of the end. With irreconcilable difference, they fight against each other, though Pepper’s direct opponent is War and Aziraphale’s in the entirety of heaven, that’s irrelevant here.

**Q:** Ah, yes. **Queen**. Led by frontman Freddie Mercury, Queen is a rock legend, not to mention a **queer** man and legend there in his own right. But what exactly is the connection between Queen and _Good Omens_? Crowley’s Bentley will turn any cassette into a best of Queen album. Why? This writer isn’t sure. Some say Crowley dated Freddie Mercury. Book-lovers are under the impression that Crowley hates Queen, or at the very least is sick of it. Miniseries-watchers are under the impression that Queen is one of Crowley’s favorite things. Either way, the Bentley sure can’t get over it.

**R:** **Rome** , as I mentioned before, is a good place to begin speculation on Aziraphale and Crowley’s love affair. But one of the true tests of their dedication – to the world and to each other – was when they swapped places and faces to attend their executions. The **Rubber Duck** , then, becomes a symbol of that affair. It is particularly important for Aziraphale, who has finally escaped the abuse of heaven, knowing that he was abused. It was a strong statement for him to ask for a rubber duck, a little rebellion, a little snark, a little laugh. It was positively Crowley-esque.

**S:** Crowley, the **snake** , the **Serpent of Eden** , the tempter to Original **Sin** …really isn’t that bad a guy. Not like **Satan.** As Crowley said, he didn’t fall as much as **saunter** vaguely downwards. He didn’t choose his path. **Sandalphon,** another angel, was quite the **smiting** force back in the day. I would say he was the evil one. **Shadwell** , the witch-hunter, rounds out the group with a grumpy countenance and obsession with nipples. But at the end of the day, we find our ineffable idiots in **St. James Park** , or together in **SoHo** , and that really all that matters, isn’t it?

**T:** **Terry Pratchett** is the other half of our authorial duo. It seems that perhaps Pratchett ate from the **Tree of Knowledge** himself, for all his cleverness in plot and diction. With his compatriot Neil Gaiman, he wrote of our ineffable idiots, but also of **The Them** , that is, Adam and his crew, who were the perfect foils to the Four Horsemen of the apocalypse and should, perhaps, be the focal characters. Maybe they are the focal characters, but we’re all romance obsessed anyway, so it was inevitable, or dare I say, ineffable, that we became obsessed with Aziraphale and Crowley.

**U:** **Uriel** , yet another angel, is the first to call Crowley the boyfriend of Aziraphale. “Your boyfriend in the dark glasses won’t save you,” she said, and isn’t that a shock! (Yes, even in mentioning other characters, we still come back to Aziraphale and Crowley. We always have, we always will). Never coming back; however, is the **unicorn** that ran away from the ark. Had Crowley known that would mean the last of the unicorns he would have gotten it back. _Why_ Crowley didn’t know that would mean the last of the unicorns is a question his creator, and perhaps for another day.

**V:** At **Versailles** we yet again find a significant point in Crowley and Aziraphale’s relationship. Aziraphale was saved from imminent discorporation by Crowley because he was dressed like a dandy in Revolutionary France. Aziraphale didn’t want to perform frivolous miracles to save himself, but was perfectly fine swapping his clothes with the jail warden. That warden was probably executed. So much for “I’ve never killed anyone before in my life” Aziraphale. But then Aziraphale and Crowley got crepes, and it was almost certainly a date. Versailles is the first date that can be considered as such, because Rome was quite impromptu.

**W: Warlock** and **Wensleydale** are two boys who are a little bit different from one another. **Warlock** is the fake antichrist. The wrong baby, switched at birth. He grew up with occult and ethereal influences, was the son of a rich diplomat, and it didn’t turn out to matter in the end. **Wensleydale** has a first name, but no one calls him by it. He’s a normal kid, one of The Them, and he had no occult or ethereal forces in his life up until the point when he learned his friend was the antichrist. Then there’s **War**. **War** never changes.

**X:** There are no significant words in _Good Omens_ that start with the letter **“X** , **”** at least insofar as this writer was able to remember. So here are some insignificant words that begin with “X” that may or may not be included in the story: **xylophone, xenon, xerox, xenias, xenia, xylidin, xyloid, xanthan, xenogamy, xylitol, xyphoid, xenolith, xenotime, xylotomy, xylocarp, xanthoma, xerosphere, xerophile, xenophile, xenophobe, xenoscape, xenografts, xylographer, xiphisterna, xanthophyll, xenodiagnoses, xerophthalmia, xenotransplant, xeroradiography, xi, xylum, xisti, xerotic,** and a whole lot of other words that sound very scientific, are otherwise confusing, don’t look real, and definitely make my eyes hurt.

**Y:** The most incidentally important characters in the story are the **Youngs** , specifically, Adam’s parents **Deirdre and Arthur Young**. **Adam Young** himself is important as the veritable antichrist, but Deirdre and Arthur raised a boy. A perfectly normal, human boy, with no supernatural influences in his life whatsoever. They raised a boy who loved, a boy who played, and a boy who cared. Without them being the people they are, without them loving unconditionally and irrevocably, they could not have raised someone so very human who was born in such superhuman circumstances. The **Youngs** are the unsung heroes of the story.

**Z:** We have reached the end of the alphabet. This writer could not remember any significant words that begin with **“Z”** either, so that is quite a disappointing ending to this list. But at the end of the day, I suppose, the importance is not in the words, but the order they come in and the stories they tell. STORIES, STORIES, STORIES, some may say, always have a beginning and an end. But that end can be a new beginning. At the end of it all, and the end of this list, I am tired. I bid you good night. **Zzzzzzzzz.**

**Author's Note:**

> The word count says I'm at 2733...where are those extra five words?


End file.
